• Don’t say it will get better (AD does not improve with time)
• Don’t tell the family if they pray harder the AD will vanish
• Don’t stop visiting the family (they need your support now more than ever)
• Don’t stop calling the family (they need to know you still care)
• Don’t tell the family that their loved one does not have AD (they are trying to deal with the diagnosis, help them)
• Don’t act as if everything is normal (nothing will be normal again)
• Don’t tell the family that if their loved one had lived differently, this wouldn’t be happening (AD can strike anyone, regardless of life style)
• Don’t try to sell the family the latest “fix all” vitamin or gimmick (there is no cure)
• Don’t continually ask “will he/she know me”, if you have already been told that the loved one no longer remembers faces
• Don’t expect the family to behave the same as they always have
• Don’t be uncomfortable with the loved ones behavior (it’s the AD, not the person)
• Don't tell the family you don't visit because it's to painful (they live with the pain of AD everyday)

Do's

• Do offer support
• Do visit the family
• Do call often
• Do ask how the loved one is doing
• Do listen
• Do volunteer to sit with the loved one allowing the caregiver a break
• Do include the family in everything you included them in before the AD (they will let you know if they are not able to participate at this stage)
• Do acknowledge the diagnosis
• Do make an effort to learn about the stages and what to expect
• Do acknowledge the family’s on going grief
• Do offer to run errands for the caregiver (the caregiver can’t get out as easily anymore and all help will be appreciated)
• Do ask about and discuss the latest discoveries regarding AD and it’s treatment
• Do acknowledge that AD can strike anyone at almost any age
• Do respect the family’s wishes

• Don’t tell him/her that they can still do things which they have been told not to do anymore, such as operate machinery or drive
• Don’t tell him/her that the doctors are wrong about the AD
• Don’t ignore the his/her grief (allow them to grieve, they are loosing their independence, their memories, their very being)
• Don’t exclude him/her form gatherings and conversations
• Don’t take it personal if the he/she gets mad at you or says hurtful things (it’s part of the AD)
• Don’t constantly quiz the him/her with what day is it? Who am I, how old are you?
• Don’t insist that he/she be in today’s world (if they have gone back to earlier days, join them)
• Don’t ask him/her to do things that are clearly frustrating to them
• Don’t talk down to the him/her
• Don’t constantly repeat everything, if they don’t respond, it may be they are trying to find the right words to respond to you, not that he/she did not hear you
• Don’t act as if AD is contagious, it’s not

Do

• Do include the person with AD in normal activities when possible
• Do visit with him/her
• Do acknowledge the AD (he/she is very aware of the changes that are taking place and may want to talk about it)
• Do acknowledge his/her fears
• Do listen
• Do hold his/her hand
• Do hug him/her
• Do support doctor’s orders
• Do acknowledge his/her grief, depression and anger
• Do forgive him/her for unkind words (it’s the AD)
• Do accept the time frame he/she is currently in. Example: If he/she does not remember that a parent passed away years ago, don’t tell them that about the death when they ask about the loved one. Imagine how painful it would be to go through the grief as if for the first time, day after day.
• Do take precautions to prevent wandering and injuries
• Do help the patient stay as independent as possible for as long as possible