Writing the short synopsis

This is also from Lisa Gardner's workshop

Lecture 3 Synopsis Overview

In the next few lectures, we are going to discuss two types of synopses, the short synopsis and the long synopsis. Generally, a short, 2-3 page synopsis is included with your query letter. If the publisher likes this submission, the editor will request a longer proposal, generally the first three chapters of your work and sometimes a long, 10-15 page synopsis. As always, this can vary from house to house so please follow the guidelines/request of your target publisher.

The goal of a synopsis is to provide a bare bones sketch of your full manuscript. Beth de Guzman of Bantam says she looks for three main elements: Set up, major developments, and resolution. Another approach is to think internal conflict, external conflict, black moment (when hopefully internal and external conflict come to a head) and resolution. Either way, you MUST give resolution, so if you do not know the ending of your book, think of one.

In addition to providing an overview of your story, a synopsis has the additional burden of showing the flavor of your writing. Like book blurb in the query letter, you want to reveal your voice in this short document. Funny books should have funny synopses. Dark books should have dark synopses (use lots of foreshadowing, bold statements, etc.)

Basically you have to cover the entire 300-page manuscript in 3-10 pages while sounding energetic, tight, and evocative. Piece of cake, right? Let's start with the basics and work our way from there:

Format:

Double-spaced

1-inch margins

Standard font

Header on every page: Book title upper left corner, last name and page number upper right corner (e.g., The Perfect Husband Baumgartner Page XX)

Pointers:

1. Start bold. Many of us sweat the perfect opening line of our book. DO THE SAME FOR YOUR SYNOPSIS! The rest of the synopsis will have to be tight, so use the opening paragraph to grab the editor by her lapels and root her in her chair. Don't start with: "Tom Riley is a thirty four year old engineer with blue eyes and black hair." That's descriptive but bland. Better: "Tom Riley possessed the kind of smile that made women swoon. He knew it. He used it. He always got his way. Until he met Faith Honeywell." Or more evocative: "Sara Smith knew she was truly in trouble the moment she went for her gun--and it was no longer in the cookie jar." Deb Smith, of course, gets credit for the best opening line of all time when she begins A PLACE TO CALL HOME with "It started the year I performed as a tap-dancing leprechaun at the St. Patrick's Day carnival and Roanie Sullivan threatened to cut my cousin Carlton's throat with a rusty pocketknife." That's a great start to a synopsis. Grab the editor's attention first, then summarize the story.

2. Stay focused. In a 3-page synopsis, you don’t have room for extraneous details. Don’t include secondary plots or characters unless they are essential to understanding the resolution. Don’t use in multiple POVs, even if they’re present in the novel. Keep it Simple, Stupid.

3. Determine your romance vs. suspense focus ahead of time. It is difficult to cover both romance and suspense, so as we discussed in the market lecture, you should determine your target publisher's priorities ahead of time and use that to guide your effort. Harl/Sil. will want more emphasis on the romance so get to that quickly and end on the note of the romantic resolution.

4. Write in present tense. It’s more effective as it provides a sense of urgency.

5. Don't "tell" your editor what this book is like or give it a tag line. Too many writers resort to over-hyped statements such as "Faster than SPEED, harder than DIE HARD." Or even phrases such as, "in this roller coaster suspense ride...." Opening your synopsis with these kinds of filler statements is an immediate kiss of death. The editor reads the next three pages thinking, "Prove it to me." Trust me, you don’t want to go there. If your book is fast-paced, don't say it, show it by establishing a rapid, twisting plot. And for your opening, refer back to point #1.

6. Don't resort to empty questions. "Will they fall in love? Will she live to see tomorrow?" This is another editorial pet peeve. For one thing, you have to give that answer, so you're wasting valuable space. Plus these sentences (and the hype-lines given above) yank an editor out of the story. They are "author intrusive" in that instead of letting the story speak for itself, you are speaking for it.

7. Proofread thoroughly. Many editors make it a policy not to continuing reading after the third typo. Ouch!

8. Sweat the opening 3 paragraphs (the set up/hook for your novel). Most editors conduct a "three paragraph" test. If you haven't grabbed their interest by then, they won't read on. A strong opening line helps. Then you want a quick, tight overview of heroine/hero and conflict. If an editor still doesn't know what your book is about by paragraph 4, you are in trouble.

None of this is easy, which is why we’re going to spend several lectures on the nut and bolts of drafting a great short synopsis. First, we’ll look at an example of a highly effective synopsis. Then I’ll provide two generic outlines for drafting a synopsis. Finally, we’ll go into more detail on how to establish voice in a virtual book report.

Next up, an example.

Lecture 4 Short Synopsis Examples

Following are two synopsis examples. The first, VESTED INTEREST by Moni Draper is the first 3 pages of a 5-page synopsis targeted for the mainstream suspense market. In it, Moni faces the challenge of trying to best represent a large cast of characters and a complicated plot in a very short space. Moni answer this challenge by using a simple structure and crisp writing style. First she introduces all her characters, including the villain who is a main character in a thriller novel. Once she’s established the players, then she moves on to summarizing the key plot points in the novel. Notice, she’s focusing on major plot points, not a scene by scene summary. We will get to this more in future lectures, but a common beginner mistake is to try to summarize every scene in a novel. Using that method, however, it would be impossible to capture a 100,000 word mainstream novel in only 5-pages. Thus Moni wisely keeps her synopsis focused on the major events in her novel, providing a smooth, narrative flow. This is a nice example of plot-focused synopsis.

The second synopsis example is ILLUSIONS OF INNOCENCE by Peggy Henricks. This novel is a 80,000 word romantic suspense targeted for Silhouette Intimate Moments. While Peggy is summarizing a shorter novel, she faces the challenge of adequately explaining a fairly involved murder mystery and an emotionally compelling romance in only three pages. You’ll notice she also chooses a very simple structure to get the basic information across. Once she has introduced her characters and provided an overview of the major plot conflict, she then has the room to delve into the emotional implications of the unfolding drama for both the hero and heroine. Also, since Peggy’s synopsis is for the category romance market, she doesn’t include secondary characters such as the villain, but keeps her synopsis appropriately focused on the hero and heroine. This is a great example a wonderfully balance romantic suspense synopsis.

After each synopsis is a more detailed analysis. In future lectures, we will cover specific points of the synopses in more detail. For example, how to write a good introductory hook, what structure is the best structure, how to determine plot points in your novel, etc. Until then, happy reading.

Synopsis Example 1: VESTED INTEREST by Moni Draper, used with permission.

Moni has now sold this book to Starlight Publications. It will be coming out shortly under her pen name, Monette Michaels. Also catch FATAL VISION, December 1999, and DEATH BENEFITS, April 2000, by Starlight Publications.

Something isn’t quite right in downtown Indianapolis. An attorney’s quest to preserve a small business district makes her a target of the mob...and of a murderer.

BRIGIT BAUER (BREE), attorney, member of the Near Eastside Community Organization, and building owner, unknowingly uncovers a thread that leads her through a maze of holding companies and eventually to the Chicago mob and its business connections to Indianapolis real estate--the Patrone Development Company (PDC).

The PDC operated and ostensibly owned by PAUL PATRONE is in the business of laundering money for the mob under the guise of real estate development. Having left his old life behind as an enforcer for the mob, Patrone, an unstable, superstitious man, is a part of the "new" mob. However, old habits die hard. Patrone feels threatened by Brigit’s investigation and concludes that she has to die before she blows the whistle on his whole operation.

Standing in Patrone’s way is ANTHONY RHYS PENDRAKE (TONY), former Navy SEAL and owner of T.P. Security, a corporate security consulting company located in the threatened neighborhood. He and his employees have vowed to assist Brigit in anyway they can in getting to the bottom of the bullish market for property in their neighborhood. On a more personal note, Tony has an agenda in working with Bree: he’s ready to settle down and has singled her out as his future wife. He just has to convince her that he’s the one she’s been waiting for.

Vested Interests opens with Patrone’s hired gun, JOEY, planning Bree’s death and failing when one of Bree’s clients eats a poisoned donut meant for her. Joey, an A-type with a previously perfect record, vows to protect his reputation and to kill her before the day ends.

Bree and her secretary are concerned that a client was killed in their offices. Before Bree can work on this puzzle, however, she is attacked in her parking garage.

And again, Joey fails, this time through the timely intervention of Tony. Bree is taken to the hospital and kept for observation. Joey follows and takes out three innocent people attempting to finish the job he started on Bree. After failing once again, Joey takes his own life before he can be arrested. Tony realizing that so many attacks on one person can’t be random no matter what the Indianapolis Police Department thinks checks a concussed Bree out of the hospital and takes her home with him for her protection.

Realizing that his hit man failed, Patrone resorts to using local talent to go after Brigit. This man also fails. Patrone realizes that if you want a hit done right you have to do it yourself. Before he can proceed with his attempt at eliminating Bree, Patrone has to deal with loose ends by killing his co- conspirator and laying the blame on him for the botched attempts on Bree’s life as well as the money laundering.

Meanwhile, Tony’s plans to protect Bree don’t run smoothly. He finds that keeping up with the very independent Bree is tricky. Bree resents being told what to do and when to do it. Attempting to carry on with her routine while living under Tony’s protection causes increasing tension. Tony’s gut is telling him that she is still in danger, and Bree’s not buying it.

In protecting Bree, Tony has taken an action that he had vowed he would never take: to ask his cousin, the head of the Chicago mob, for a favor in tracking down the person or persons who had hired the renegade mob hit man, Joey.

Tony’s cousin has his own interests in what is going on in Indianapolis. What was supposed to be a legitimate mob business is turning out to be a danger to the mob’s financial and security interests. The mob leader suspects that his man in Indianapolis, Patrone, has been skimming funds. To make matters worse, Patrone violated mob law by using a former mob enforcer to make a hit on a woman and other innocents. Patrone has to be stopped, and Tony’s cousin does not want his relative to dirty his hands to take care of family business.

Analysis:

1. Nice hook. I like the introduction sentence. It quickly gets my attention. It also tells me exactly what this book is about right off the bat. Editors are busy. They like to know the heart of a story up front. Sets the stage nicely for everything to come.

2. Great set up. The hook gives us the primary conflict, then boom, boom, boom, Moni has set up the three central players. We have a determined heroine, a superstitious mob boss, and a former Navy SEAL. Your mind can already start envisioning the possibilities. Now, I will add that Bree's set up is the weakest. I would like to see one more sentence telling us something about Bree as a person. Hard-working, career-oriented. Tough as nails? As the synopsis develops, we start seeing Brigit as a tough, intelligent lady. I'd like to know a little bit of that upfront, that she's worthy of taking on the mob. Also, I would like one more phrase with Tony. I love that he's selected Brigit to be his wife if he can convince her (sets up romantic tension nicely), I would like to know why, as it seems a little abrupt. Even just a phrase, "having come to know Brigit over the months, years...Tony has selected her to be his future wife..." That way we understand it's a decision with some reasoning behind it. :-) Then the characters are perfect.

3. Fast paced. This synopsis reads very smoothly. Notice the short paragraphs and tight sentences. Not a word to spare here. T his synopsis is also doing something that's very subtle-it is giving you voice. In this case, the synopsis mirrors the tight, crisp flow you expect to read in plot-oriented mainstream novels. Also, the transitions are nice. Sometimes she using gerunds, sometimes subject, sometimes time phrases, but paragraphs flow very well. May sound petty, but short synopses often have very rough transitions from paragraph to paragraph, which jars you out of the reading experience.

4. Nice twists. This story also takes off on a direction I didn't expect, which is one of the reasons you include turning points in a synopsis—to impress the editor. I'm intrigued by the notion of Tony getting his cousin involved and by Patrone finding himself in trouble with his own mob. Especially in the mainstream market, its important to show that you aren't writing the same old thing.

So there you have it. An example of crisp writing, and tight, linear flow. The story is set up and then smoothly outlined. Compared to the many muddled synopses that pass an editor's desk, this one is going to stand out on the strength of the writing alone. Great!

Synopsis Example 2: ILLUSIONS OF INNOCENCE by Peggy Hendricks, used with permission. A former Golden-Heart finalist, Peggy has won numerous awards with this manuscript, including Wisconsin RWA's Fabulous Five Contest and East Texas RWA's Southern Heat Contest. Peggy is currently represented by Pam Hopkins of Hopkins Literary Associates.

Hometown boy William Sinclair is in big trouble. His estranged wife is missing, his brother-in-law is dead and Will's the prime suspect. Residents of River Bay, Wisconsin, like those in most small towns, pounce on scandal. Everyone just knows Will Sinclair is guilty. His only chance to plant a seed of reasonable doubt in their closed minds is to hire a highly skilled attorney. The best he knows is a woman who hates his guts.

New York City attorney Annie Wells is fed up with not only her job of defending guilty clients, but also the entire legal system. She's come home to settle her father's estate after his recent death. Questioning her professional ethics and principles, not sure she even wants to continue practicing law, the last thing she wants is to take on another-according to local gossip-potentially guilty client.

Twelve years ago, Annie believed Will was her future. Now she wants him to remain firmly in the past. Only after hearing about the bets placed at a local bar-not on whether Will is guilty or innocent, but on how long he'll spend in prison-does she give in to her deeply ingrained belief that everyone is entitled to a fair trial. She agrees to defend Will. Despite his charm and her attraction, she believes she can maintain an all-business relationship with him.

While the case against Will isn't strong, the evidence is more than circumstantial.

Means: The victim was shot at close range with a .22 caliber gun-the same type owned by every man and boy over the age of fourteen in the county... including Will.

Motive: Will's wife, Caroline, was having an affair with the victim, his sister's husband. The disastrous state of the Sinclair marriage was no secret. No one's surprised that Will killed Neil Carter-only that he didn't kill one of his wife's lovers long before now.

Opportunity: None, as long as the jury is willing to discount the suspicious convenience of Will and his sister being each other's alibi for the time of the murder.

Annie has her work cut out for her. The best defense, she tells Will, is to supply a better suspect than him. She builds her case around evidence that his wife is still alive. Annie believes Caroline killed her lover and framed Will for the murder.

Over the years, Will has done his best not to think about Annie-and what might have been. Since she came back home, though, he can't deny that the old attraction is still simmering between them, even if she refuses to acknowledge it. Just looking at her makes something squeeze hard in his chest. Regret, that's all, he staunchly tells himself. His tender feelings for her are all in the past. If he feels anything at all now, it's lust. Simple, pure, uncomplicated lust. His heart, what's left of it, is his own.

But he underestimates the potent headiness of having someone believe in him. For months, he's been stared at, whispered about, and all but tried and sentenced without ever-stepping foot inside the county courthouse. Once Annie makes it clear she wholeheartedly believes in his innocence, he finds denying his attraction to her much more difficult.

Because of their past, they both believe a future together is out of the question, but eventually they give in to their mutual attraction. They make love, denying the possibility that what they feel is love, labeling it consensual sex between two adults. They believe they can resume a physical relationship without becoming emotionally involved.

The case is going well in court. Annie almost has the jury convinced of Will's innocence when Caroline's badly decomposed body is recovered from a shallow grave outside of town. Annie's faith in Will is tested.

Twelve years ago, Annie's lack of trust in Will is what broke them up. This time instead of running away from him and her fears, she stays and fights to discover the truth. She goes back over her case files, studies police reports and state crime lab findings, pours over pictures of the murder scene and reads interviews done with dozens of town residents. She discovers that while she was on the right track in creating reasonable doubt by providing the jury with another suspect, Will's been pushing her away from her first and the most obvious suspect. The victim's grieving widow, Jessica Carson-Will's sister.

Will understands Annie's brief lack of faith in him. Considering the new evidence, he can't blame her. But when she comes to him with plausible evidence that his sister is guilty, he gets angry and orders Annie to leave it alone.

Annie goes straight to Jessica. Annie knows Jessica loves Will. If he's convicted of Neil and Caroline's murders, he'll go to prison for the rest of his life. Using that argument, playing on Jessica's guilt, Annie gets Jessica to admit the truth. Yes, she hated Caroline, Jessica declares. Will might have been inclined to ignore his wife's adulterous ways and the embarrassment of her frequent affairs, but Jess wasn't. Especially when her husband became Caroline's latest conquest.

Annie convinces Jessica to testify in court. Will is released-and devastated. He'd suspected Jess was guilty but wanted to protect her because he blamed himself. If he'd done something about his wife, filed for divorce, never married her in the first place, she wouldn't have turned to Neil in a pathetic attempt to get back at him by hurting the one person he loved most, his sister. Jessica wouldn't have become desperate enough to kill.

Will's also afraid that by not sharing his suspicions with Annie, he's lost any chance that she might love him. Will she run away again like she did ten years ago? She tells him she doesn't agree with the way he kept quiet, but she can understand. Leaving him once was the biggest mistake of her life and one she isn't going to repeat. She loved him then and she loves him now. It's time to put the past behind them and face the future...together.

Analysis:

Nice hook. Peggy establishes immediate drama by opening with very high stakes. A hero on trial for murdering his wife. Then she has a great ending for her first paragraph: The only woman who can help him, hates his guts. This kind of strong conflict immediately hooks an editor. It also plays into the romance without having to be obvious; the savvy reader/editor immediately understands the brilliant lawyer will be the romantic interest.

Creative, clear set up. This synopsis has a fairly involved plot. A man’s been accused of a hideous crime, but the body hasn’t been found. Peggy does a wonderful job of crisply laying out the plot. Instead of making the classic synopsis error of trying to summarize her book scene by scene, she focuses simply on relaying the most important information for the editor to understand the plot. Here is the gist of the case against the hero: Motive, means, opportunity. Here is what the heroine will try to do to save him. Oops, here’s the plot twist that happens next—the ex-wife’s body is discovered. This is a great, easy-to-follow logic flow, one of the most critical aspects of a suspense novel’s synopsis.

Good use of priorities. Interestingly enough, Peggy never gives us the backstory for Annie and Will. We know they were involved once and it didn’t work out, but that’s all. Most authors will provide the backstory, but I think Peggy has made a great trade off. She has limited space to cover both a complicated plot and involved romance. So she’s doesn’t waste paragraphs on the past, but keeps us riveted in the present situation. This works very well in this synopsis, as she establishes emotional pull between the hero and heroine based on the present alone. The paragraph where she describes how Will is so touched by Annie’s belief in his innocence is very moving. If provides enough of an emotional context that we don’t really need to know what happened before to understand their current interest. Thus, Peggy was wise not to waste valuable paragraphs on extraneous information.

Well-established characters. In the second paragraph, Peggy neatly sets up the heroine’s motivation for helping the hero. As we will discuss, the key details to characterization in a synopsis are goal, motivation, and conflict. In paragraph two, we understand Annie’s goal (defend Will), why she is doing it (her ethics as a lawyer and genuine sympathy for his plight), and what is her conflict (she’s burnt out on her job and wary of getting involved with Will again). Then Peggy neatly does the same for Will. The poor man wants to prove his innocence. His problem is how and who to trust? Also, by including a paragraph on Will’s emotional plight—how touched he is by Annie’s faith in him—we get a true sense of him as a flesh and blood man. He becomes real to us and we care that much more for what happens to him.

Nice closing line. Because this is a romantic suspense story, it’s important to end on the right grace note. That is always by returning to the romance. Here, Peggy has built a great deal of emotional tension over Will’s arrest, then ratcheted up that tension with the revelation that his sister is the real murderer. To simply end there, while it ties up the plot, would leave the editor feeling unsettled. So Peggy wisely returns to the romance and shows the hero and heroine getting on with life together. This provides more emotional closure and shows that Peggy has done her homework about her market—romance, romance, romance

Lecture 5 - Short Synopsis Outline

Last week we covered the purpose of a short synopsis and some general do’s and don’ts. Today, I’m going to discuss two possible outlines—one geared for character-focused synopses and one for more plot-oriented works. For the record, there is no one right or wrong way to do your synopsis; mostly, you simply need to find the method of organizing your thoughts that works best for you. Also, for people who consider themselves "out of the mist" writers, this first outline is often useful, as it requires knowing fewer specific plot points.

Both of these outlines contain two key components. The first is the HOOK. The second is a list of key PLOT POINTS.

The hook can be either one sentence or up to 3 paragraphs long. The goal is to grab the editor’s attention and establish your writing voice in one fell swoop. You’ll want to refer to your market homework analyzing the most saleable components of your novel. Then you’ll want to consider how to craft a brief, but engaging introduction to your synopsis. Given the limited length of the short synopsis, chances are you’ll only get to reveal voice in the opening set up. Then you’ll have to resort to clear, concise explanations in order to cover an entire novel in 2 1⁄2 pages.

That brings up to the second aspect of the synopsis, the key plot points. Beginning writers often get bogged down at a "scene by scene" level of detail in the synopsis. In 2 1⁄2 pages, however, you cannot include each scene of the book. Instead you should be focusing on the major events and conflicts. These plot points comprise the main body of your synopsis, giving the editor a clear, concise understanding of your novel.

Remember in the first lecture when we discussed that most writers have problems establishing voice and energy in their synopses? This is where the rubber meets the road. There is nothing like a flat hook to suck the interest out of a synopsis. And there is nothing like too much backstory, scene details, or secondary characters to bog down a proposal and leave an editor’s head reeling.

So this where we get into the gory stuff. First, I’ll provide two generic outlines to give you a starting point. I include details from my suspense novel, THE PERFECT HUSBAND, to help flesh it out.

Then we’ll spend an entire lecture on various ways of establishing voice in the opening hook. Finally, we’ll have a lecture on identifying the major plot points in a novel. Hopefully between these three lectures, you will have a better understanding of how to approach—and master!—the short synopsis.

SHORT SYNOPSIS OUTLINES

The Character-Focused Synopsis is a great approach for Harl/Sil or any other romance-oriented publisher. This outline is courtesy of Dee Holmes who has written for Silhouette IM, Silhouette Special Edition, Avon, and Berkley. Dee is a self-proclaimed "out of the mist" writer, and this method works well for her as it focuses on character conflicts instead of specific plot points. If you’re also a "seat of the pants" writer, this may be the perfect synopsis outline for you.

HOOK—Either a unique opening line in the first character sketch (a bold opening to the heroine/hero), or a snappy/humorous/ opening line overviewing book premise.

INTERNAL CONFLICT: Two paragraphs, one of the heroine, one for the hero, describing their relevant back story and key internal conflict they must overcome to find love. You want to focus a bit on the layers here—the past marriages, relationships with parents, or pivotal trauma that has molded your character and made her who she is. This internal conflict will be overcome in black moment, when your character realizes her weakness/fear and leaves it behind it in the name of love.

EXTERNAL CONFLICT: One paragraph, usually the set up that brings the hero and heroine together and establishes the external conflict blocking their way. Could be the hit men trying to kill them, murder to solve, brother’s name to clear, etc. Could be a serial killer ex-husband. ;-)

HERO AND HEROINE WORK TOGETHER: First plot point that makes the hero and heroine temporarily overlook their differences to work together. In THE PERFECT HUSBAND (TPH), it would be when J.T. decides against his better judgment to train Tess. So the external conflict makes the hero and heroine join forces despite their reservations.

INTIMACY: The forced contact of working together and of course, raging attraction, making h/h succumb to physical intimacy—whether first kiss, make love, whatever. For TPH, I’d skip to their first sex scene, since in 3-pages I don’t have space to go over each "almost" moment."

MORNING AFTER: H/H promptly remember all their fears, fall back on their internal conflict and reject each other. (J.T. falls back on his fear of commitment, not wanting to get involved, will only fail anyway, etc., etc.)

H/H WORK TOGETHER AGAIN: Next big plot complication bring h/h back together (e.g., Jim Beckett kidnaps Tess’s daughter and J.T. promptly vows to help Tess do whatever necessary to get her daughter back.)

SHOWDOWN/BLACK MOMENT: Big conflict showdown (Tess’s decision to serve as bait for her ex-husband, Jim Beckett storming the safe house and killing everyone in his path). Lead to black moment (Tess facing up to her husband, Tess finding strength she didn’t know she had to shoot the man and save J.T.’s life. J.T. running to the safe house for all he’s worth, determined not to fail this time… Though in TPH, J.T.’s black moment extends into the epilogue, mostly because I felt his problems ran too deep and too seriously to be magically overcome in one showdown with a homicidal maniac).

RESOLUTION: Bad guys revealed/caught. Live happily ever after.

Plot-Focused Synopsis: This outline focuses more on key plot points and would be good for mainstream submissions where the growing romance is of secondary importance.

HOOK: Same as above

HEROINE INTRO: Who the heroine is now, her primary goal and motivation. For Tess Williams in TPH, it would be that after spending two year running in fear from her ex-husband, she is determined to take a stand for herself and her daughter. All she wants is someone to train her in the business of death.

HERO INTRO: Who is the hero is now, his primary goal and motivation. J.T. was one a brilliant mercenary. Now he is a drunk. All he wants is to be left alone. He deeply believes he has failed all the people who were important to him, and the only emotions he allows himself now are self-loathing and rage. He carries a great deal of rage.

VILLIAN INTRO: Who the antagonist is, his primary goal and motivation. Jim Beckett, former police officer and husband, is a psychopath. He killed ten women before his wife and local authorities put him away. Now escaped from Walpole, he has declared revenge upon everyone who put him there, and especially his traitorous wife Tess.

SET UP/PLOT POINT ONE: Tess shows up at J.T.’s ranch asking for help. He refuses, but when she passes out, ends up having to give her a room for the night. Facing a fresh round of persistent arguments in the morning, he half-heartedly agrees to train her.

PLOT POINT 2: Beckett infiltrates the police task force to learn the status of his investigation. He then leaves the cops a pointed message (dead body) that he's still interested in finding his wife and capable of using the police to do it.

PLOT POINT 3: J.T.’s sister, an FBI agent pays an unexpected visit. She is concerned by Tess’s presence—and desire to learn to kill. She tracks down Tess’s real identity by sending her fingerprints to the local police. Marion is aghast to learn that Tess is in legitimate danger from her psychopathic ex-husband, and worse, Marion has just compromised her safety by involving the local police. Everyone knows Jim Beckett is very good at getting information from the cops. All fear Jim Beckett will head to Arizona. Tess is no where near ready.

TURNING POINT 1: Jim Beckett does not head to Arizona. He heads to central Mass where he kills lieutenant Difford and kidnaps his own daughter. Police mobilize in an even bigger way...but Jim Beckett is no where to be found.

PLOT POINT 4: Tess returns to Massachusetts against all advice, determined to face down her husband. Reluctantly, J.T. takes her to the scene of Difford's murder, the only logical starting point.

PLOT POINT 5: Jim Beckett promptly attacks Tess and J.T. at the crime scene. Only J.T.'s combat skills get them out alive. They are both injured...but so now is Jim Beckett.

TURNING POINT 2: Tess decides to lay a trap for her husband with herself as bait. She will wait out in their old house, knowing that Beckett cannot resist the challenge of coming after her. Once and for all, it will be done

RESOLUTION: Jim Beckett comes after Tess. By killing an FBI agent downtown, then taking out one of the rooftop snipers, he splits the protective task force, and descends upon his terrified wife. He is not match, however, for the combined force of J.T. and Tess. Beckett is killed, Tess’s little girl is recovered alive. Family reunited.

Notice that while both outlines are describing the same book, you get two very distinct impressions. The first highlights its romance, the second its plot and the antagonist, Jim Beckett. Thus you really need to know what your editor/publisher prefers when choosing your synopsis approach.

Now that we’ve had a broad overview of possible synopsis outlines, we’ll focus on how to establish voice in the introduction, as well as determine the key plot points.

Lecture 6 - Establishing Voice

One of the biggest challenges in a synopsis is establishing your writing voice. In many ways, a short synopsis will read more like a newspaper article—short, tight paragraphs, clean, concise writing. You have a lot of information to cover in very little space, limiting the opportunity for dramatic license.

The best bet is to start off with a strong, dramatic opening. By spending time and space on the initial set up of your book, the hook, you guarantee grabbing editorial interest for the next three pages. There are several techniques you can try.

Evocative opening line, e.g., "Debby knew she was in trouble when she went for her gun…and it was no longer in the cookie jar."

Humor, e.g., "Barbara finally had the perfect boyfriend. He was handsome, wealthy, and even extremely punctual. The only problem was that he didn’t actually exist."

Drama, e.g., "After that night, Sandy Kincaid stopped looking back. She kept her eyes forward and her life focused ahead. Bigger, better, stronger, that’s what she told herself. Because anything was better than slowing down and feeling the past creep on her. Anything was better than remembering that night, and what he had looked like dead."

Dialogue, e.g, "Hey, you the one who wanted the mail order bride? Great, just sign right here."

The possibilities, of course, are endless. Remember this is art, not an English paper. Fragments are acceptable. So are, colloquialisms. You can start out in deep POV, as if you’re inside the character’s head. You can also experiment with third person omniscient, creating drama as a narrator coldly describes the scene. The important thing is to grab attention and establish a voice consistent with what the editor will find in the completed novel.

Here are two examples of excellent set ups. Notice how well the writers establish voice while simultaneously providing the relevant information about character and conflict. After these paragraphs, the writers can transition to a concise summary of the major plot points, content that they have grabbed the editor’s attention and revealed their writing strengths.

Examples:

1. ROMANCE BRINGS DEATH, used by permission of Jennifer Apodaca, a member of Orange County RWA. Jennifer has completed five manuscripts, and her experience shows through in this great example of using zany humor and fresh, lively writing to energize the beginning of her synopsis and grab a busy editor’s attention.

SAMANTHA SCHOLL is trying to rebuild her life after her condom-selling, panty-stealing, waste of skin husband dies eating peanut candy. Leaving her soccer mom days behind, Sam buys the Heart Mates Dating Service. All she needs now is a few clients.

A stun gun wielding client demanding a half million dollars is not what she had in mind. The permanent marker message he left on her favorite Nordstrom's skirt makes her situation frighteningly clear - Sam has five days to find the money, or she and her kids will end up as dead as her husband.

TRENT SCHOLL had been doing more than selling condoms. Prior to his death, he had an account with Heart Mates. It appears that he was running drugs sealed up in the condom packages and skimming money from the profits. Sam has no idea where the money is.

Help comes in the form of handsome, charming Detective MORGAN ROSSI and bad boy sexy Private Investigator GABE PULUZZI. Rossi focuses on the missing money and why Sam would buy Heart Mates without so much as a CPA looking at the books. Gabe is teaching Sam to take care of herself and her boys. Both men are tempting her libido out of retirement.

2. MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH, used by permission of Debby Conrad, a 1998 Golden Heart Finalist. Debby has a naturally dramatic voice, which she skillfully demonstrates in these brief three paragraphs. Note the use of sentence fragments and a great, cliffhanger ending to build interest. This kind of bold set up is a great way to reveal voice before going into the "nuts and bolts" outline of the short synopsis.

Luke Galloway doesn’t lie. Well, not normally. And never about something as serious as death. But, somehow Luke’s friend and business partner, Sam Paris, convinces Luke that he needs to do just that.

Sam hasn’t seen his daughter, Rusty, for twenty-one years, and he’ll do anything to get her to come back to his horse farm. Forget the fact that she’s lived all over the world, and in more exotic places than Red Ridge, Kentucky. The way Sam figures it, is that the only way he’ll ever get Rusty to come home, and give up her high society lifestyle, is if he were dying.

And so the lie begins.