Ambrosia
I want to drink my freedom like ambrosia from the hands
and bodies and mouths of other people, not lock
it in a cask to age and turn rancid. I haven't yet held the body I would
forsake all other bodies for, haven't drank the nectar of a flower that
would make all other flowers seem pale and limp by comparison. My skin
hasn't been caressed by the eyes and voice that I would feel naked
without. I want to be kissed by the suns first rays as I lay down to go
to sleep, I want to keep the moon in her solitary guard company. I want
to dance in the rain with only my hair and arms and those of others to
clothe me. I want to be the colors of the rainbow and no color at all.
I want to walk barefoot through the alkaline flats of the desert and
burn. I want to wake up, a stranger in a strange land, to learn as I did
as a child, to be fearless and feared. I want to swim in waters the
color of my eyes and drink wine like blood. I want to dive into
waterfalls and land in the trees. I want to be bruised and battered, to
be in pain so that I know I am alive. I want to be worshipped. I want
to form my life again and again from the raw clay of my soul. I want my
eyes to burn with tears. I want to know the smalls of my lovers' backs,
the hollows of their hips, the points of their jaws, the backs of their
knees, the palm of their hands. I want to be held in the strength of a
hurricane and ripped apart by tornadoes. I want to know betrayal and make
her a friend and a lover, knowing she'll leave when I need her most. I
want to make love to a bank of moss, long and slow and sensuous. I want
to pass unnoticed in a crowded room. I want to jump double dutch,
weaving in and out. I want to know the untouchables, learn their
stories, drink their tears and bask in their strength. I want to march
to my own drum beat and dance to no one's music save that of the pounding
of my heart and the rhythm of my breath.
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