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Bullying or Victimization can be generally defined in the following way:
A student is being bullied or victimized when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other students. Such negative actions include intentionally inflicting, or attempting to inflict, injury or discomfort upon another. These behaviors can be carried out physically (e.g., hitting, kicking, pushing, choking), verbally (e.g., by calling names, threatening, taunting, malicious teasing, spreading nasty rumors), or in other ways such as making faces or obscene gestures, or intentional exclusion from a group. The latter (usually more subtle) forms are usually termed “indirect bullying”, where as “direct bullying” compromises behaviors that represent relatively open (usually verbal or physical) attack on the victim. In order to be considered bullying, there should also be an imbalance in power or strength (an asymmetric power relationship). In other words, students who are exposed to the negative actions generally have difficulty in defending themselves and are somewhat helpless against the student or students who harass. It is not considered bullying when two students of approximately the same physical or psychological power are in conflict, nor is friendly or playful teasing considered bullying. However, repeated degrading and malicious teasing which is continued despite clear signs of distress and opposition on the part of the target does qualify as bullying. In the context of school bullying, the victim is usually a single student, who is generally harassed by a group of two or three students, often with a “negative leader.” A considerable proportion of the victims, (20-40 %) report however, a single student mainly bullies them.
Bullying is thus characterized by the following three criteria:
(a) it is aggressive behavior or intentional “harm-doing;”
(b) it is carried out repeatedly and over time; and
(c) it occurs within an interpersonal relationship characterized by an imbalance of power.
One might add that bullying behavior often occurs without apparent provocation.
These characteristics clearly suggest that bullying can be considered a form of abuse: peer abuse. What sets it apart from other forms of abuse such as child or domestic abuse is the context in which it occurs and the relationship of the interacting parties.
Dan Olweus: Bullying Prevention Program Author; Bullying At School)
False Beliefs About Bullying:
“Being bullied builds character.”
“Bullying is part of growing up.”
“Kids will be kids." or "Boys will be boys.”
“Sticks and stones may break your bones, but names can never hurt you.”
“What did you do to him/her that would make him/her treat you that way.”
“You just have to toughen up.” or “You just have to learn to stand up for yourself.”
“Hit him back, he won’t bother you again.”
“I was bullied in school and I turned out fine.” or “I was a bully in school and I turned out fine.”
“No kids are bullied in this school.”
“Only children who are different get bullied.”
“Only children in large school/classes get bullied.”
Bullying Q’s & A’s
20 to 30% of students are directly involved in bully/victims problems
Have bully/victim problems increased?
Bullying both takes more serious forms and is more prevalent nowadays than 10-15 years ago.
Are bully/victim problems different for boys and girls?
Boys are more often the victims and the perpetrators of direct bullying. Boys carry out a large part of the bullying to which girls are subjected. Bullying with physical means is more common among boys. Girls also use physical means of bullying but most often they use more subtle and indirect ways of harassment such as slandering, spreading of rumors, and manipulation of friendships. Nonetheless, harassment with non-physical means is the most common form of bullying also among boys.
How much do the educators do?
Teachers do relatively little to put a stop to bullying at school according to both the bullied and bullying students. They also make limited contact with the students involved in order to talk about the problems. This is particularly true in middle school.
How much do parents know?
Parents of students who are bullied and in particular who bully others are relatively unaware of the problem and talk to their children about it only to a limited extent.
Does bullying take place more on the way to and from school more than in school?
Twice as many students are bullied at school as on the way to and from school.
Is bullying primarily a big city problem?
Research points to a somewhat greater awareness of the problem in cities.
Is the size of the school or class relative to the amount of bully/victim problems?
The size of the class or school appears to be of little importance for the level of bully/victim problems in the class or school. Nevertheless, the absolute number of bullied and bullying students is greater on average in big schools and big classes.
Does supervision during recess, lunch, break, locker rooms, hallways, lavatories, school grounds and on buses affect bully victim problems?
Yes. It is very important to have a sufficient number of educators present during these times and at these locations who are willing and prepared to intervene. At a more general level the attitudes of the educators toward bully/victim situations are of major significance for the extent of bully/victim problems in the school or the class.
What is the stability of bully/victim problems over time?
Being a bully or a victim is something that can last for a long time, often for many years.
What roles do external factors of the victim play?
They play a much smaller role in bully/victim problems than generally assumed.
How are bystanders affected by bully victim problems?
Tolerance of bullying affects the climate of schools and indirectly the ability of all students to learn to the best of their abilities.
How can this silent majority affect bully/victim problems?
Educators can help this majority change the climate of the school by rewarding them for kindness and inclusion of the victims as well as diffusing the bullies behavior by not rewarding them socially for their acts of in-compassion. They can turn the negative stigma of tattling into a new positive act -telling out of compassion.
Dan Olweus-Author;Bullying at School
General Characteristics of Possible Victims:
Keep in mind , bullying often occurs without provocation.
Two Types:
1. Passive/Submissive:
Signal to others through attitudes and behaviors that they are insecure individuals who will not retaliate if victimized
Often are physically weaker than their peers (particularly boys)
Often display “body anxiety.” Are afraid of being hurt, have poor physical coordination, and are ineffective in physical play or sports
Often have poor social skills and have difficulty making friends
Often are cautious, sensitive, quiet, withdrawn and shy
Often cry or become upset easy
Often are anxious, insecure, and have poor self-esteem
Often have difficulty standing up for or defending themselves in peer groups
Often relate better to adults than peers
2. Provocative- much smaller group of victims:
Often have anxious and aggressive patterns and are generally boys
Exhibit some or all of the characteristics of passive or submissive victims
Often are hot tempered and attempt to fight back when victimized-usually not very effectively
Often are hyperactive, restless, have difficulty concentrating, and create tension
Often are clumsy, immature, and exhibit irritating habits
Often are also disliked by adults, including teachers
Often try to bully students weaker than themselves
Be aware of symptoms :
A family can only be as happy as its saddest child. Your child spends most of his/her waking hours at school. If those hours are comprised of continual emotional and/or physical abuse, it can and often causes "unexplained" and escalating outbursts and/or depression at home among family members. It is extremely psychologically overwhelming for a developing child who is forced to cope with endless anxiety and fear of their person, while trying to achieve academically, on a daily basis.
Your child may be apprehensive in telling you about being bullied for fear of retaliation by the bullies.
They may also feel great shame.
You, the parent, know your child best and can sense when something is “wrong” with your child's behavior.
Children who are bullied may :
be withdrawn
have a drop in grades
show a loss of appetite
have sleeping problems
be hesitant to go to school
rarely bring classmates home after school or seldom spend time in their homes
seem isolated from peers and may not have one good friend to share time with
often feel sick in the morning
become visibly stressed before getting on the school bus (some of the most severe bullying takes place on the school bus)
come home with torn clothes or unexplained bruises
be suspicious if your child needs extra school supplies or often needs extra lunch money: a bully may be extorting things your child “loses”
your child may choose an “illogical” route to and from school
appear anxious
distressed
unhappy
depressed or tearful when he or she comes home from school
show unexpected mood shifts, irritability, or sudden outbursts of temper
talks or attempts of suicide
Consequences of Being Bullied:
Contrary to popular opinion, being bullied at school does not help children to cope better with adult life; it has the opposite effect.
Studies suggest that adults who were bullied as children may have problems with self-esteem, feelings of anger and bitterness, suicidal thoughts and attempts, difficulty relating to people and other mental health problems including schizophrenia and complex post traumatic stress disorder.
Studies of the devastating consequences of bullying suggest that there are short and long term consequences for the victims of bullying.
Students who are chronic victims of bullying experience more physical and psychological problems than their peers who are not harassed by other children and they tend not to grow out of the role of victim.
At the extreme, bullied children can exhibit irrational retaliation, even suicide or both.
Longitudinal studies reveal that victims of bullying in early grades also reported being bullied several years later.
Is Your Child a Bully?
Children who bully increase their risk for engaging in other forms of antisocial behavior, such as juvenile delinquency, criminality and substance abuse.
Doing nothing implies that bullying is acceptable behavior.
Typical bullying behavior includes:
Physical attacks: hitting, pushing, kicking, and choking
Verbal attacks or harassment: name calling, threatening, taunting, malicious teasing, rumor spreading, slandering
Social isolation, intentional exclusion, making faces, obscene gestures, manipulating friendship relationships
General Characteristics of a Bully :
Boys are more likely than girls to be bullies. However, girls are more likely to engage in “sneakier” forms of harassment
Often are physically bigger and stronger than their victims
Often have a strong need to dominate and control their peers
Often are hot-tempered, easily angered, impulsive, and have a low frustration tolerance
Often have difficulty conforming to rules
Often are defiant and aggressive toward adults and authority figures-adults may be frightened of the bully
Often are good at talking themselves out of situations
They tend to have a relatively positive view of themselves (average or better than average self esteem)
Often are more likely than their peers to engage in antisocial behaviors - by age 24, bullies identified after the age of seven are 6 times more likely than non-bullies to be convicted of a crime; by age 30, they are 4 times more likely to have accrued three criminal convictions
Often are more likely to be less popular (particularly primary school students)
The Bystander
Bullying is often a group phenomenon that can influence other students in various directions.
Some group mechanisms that, individually or in combination may assumed to be active when several students participate in bullying.
Social contagion.
Weakening of the normal inhibitions against aggressive tendencies.
A decresed sense of individual responsibility.
Gradual changes in the perception of the victim.
Dan Olweus Author;Bullying at School
Below are some links to realtime videos showing how bystanders react (warning these videos are graphic)
http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=high school fight Damn u got knocked the hosting out cam live real ouch hurt funny comedy oops bl
http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=School Fight
http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=crazy-school-fight
http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=School-Fights---Chick-Fight
http://www.putfile.com/media.php?n=fight_after_school
Why Kids Don't Tell
School Bathroom Beating Caught On Tape/Retaliation Attack
http://www.kron4.com/Global/story.asp?S=3336522
This is why schools need to have an anonymous reporting mechanism in place.
TAKE BULLYING SERIOUSLY
A MEMORIAL
BULLYCIDES
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