Continuation of my second site

A Naughty Boy named_leroy

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.


"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."


Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved a bike for his birthday.



Little Leroy, of course, thought he did. Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted Leroy to reflect on his behavior over the last year. "Go to you room, Leroy, and think about how you have behaved this year. Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday.



Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.



Letter 1:

Dear God,

I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.

Your friend, Leroy



Leroy knew that wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year so he tore up the letter and started over.



Letter 2:

Dear God,

I have been an "OK" boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday. Leroy knew he could not send this letter to God either.


So he wrote a third letter.



Letter 3:

God,

I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday. Please!

Thank you, Leroy



Leroy knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. By now Leroy was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Leroy's mother thought her plan had worked as Leroy looked very sad.

"Just be home in time for dinner," Leroy's mother told him.

Leroy walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Leroy went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Leroy bent down and picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary.  He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.



Leroy began to write his letter to God.



Letter 4:
God,

I'VE GOT YOUR MAMA.

IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER

AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.

Signed,

YOU KNOW WHO

 

 

An ANGEL In My INBOX

 

There's an angel in my inbox
And she came here from a friend
Who typed in my e-mail address
Then clicked on the button 'Send'

There's an angel in your inbox
And you got her straight from me;
I knew when I finished reading this,
It was something you should see.

This little angel in your inbox
Does contain a nice surprise;
For when you send her on to friends,
Her message multiplies.

She brings you a note of
Happiness, health and song;
And the nicest thing you can do
Today is to forward her along.

By simply sending her on
Can make you happy as can be;
She should be sent to everyone
Her message is for all to see.

Please send this little angel on,
And have a great day, too;
Just smile and be happy because
This angel was sent to you!

 

 

The Many Names of Christ 
 

To the ARTIST He is the One Altogether Lovely.
To the ARCHITECT He is the Chief Corner Stone.
To the BAKER He is the Living Bread.
To the BANKER He is the Hidden Treasure.
To the BIOLOGIST He is the Life.
To the BUILDER He is the Sure Foundation.
To the CARPENTER He is the Door.
To the DOCTOR He is the Great Physician.
To the EDUCATOR He is the Great Teacher.
To the ENGINEER He is the New and Living Way.
To the FLORIST He is the Rose of Sharon and the Lily of the Valley.
To the GEOLOGIST He is the Rock of Ages.
To the HORTICULTURIST He is the True Vine.
To the JUDGE He is the Righteous Judge, Judge of All Men.
To the JEWELER He is the Pearl of Great Price.
To the LAWYER He is the Counselor, the Lawgiver, the Advocate.
To the NEWSPAPER He is the Good Tidings of Great Joy.
To the OCULIST He is the Light of the Eyes.
To the PHILANTHROPIST He is the Unspeakable Gift.
To the PHILOSOPHER He is the Wisdom of God.
To the PREACHER He is the Word of God.
To the SCULPTOR He is the Living Stone.
To the SERVANT He is the Good Master.
To the STATESMAN He is the Desire of All Nations.
To the STUDENT He is the Incarnate Truth.
To the THEOLOGIAN He is the Author and Finisher of our Faith.
To the TOILER He is the Giver of Rest.
To the SINNER He is the Lamb of God
   that takes away the sins of the World.
To the CHRISTIAN He is the Son of the Living God,
   the Savior, the Redeemer and the Lord!

 

 

Never underestimate the Power of God and His unique sense of humor

 

Subject: The Pastor's Cat... 
 
 
 

This particular story just made me laugh. Every time I think about it, the vision of that poor cat just amuses me. Hope the story leaves a bright spot in your day. 
 

Whoever said the Creator doesn't have a sense of humor? 
 

Dwight Nelson recently told a true story about the pastor of his church. He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten. 
 

He did! All the while, checking his progress in the car frequently, then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved a little further forward, the rope broke. The tree went "boing!" and the kitten instantly sailed through the air - out of sight. 
 

The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten. So he prayed, "Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping," and went on about his business. 
 

A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. Now this woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, "Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?" 
 

She replied! , "You won't believe this," and told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, "Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it." 
 

(Can you see where this is heading?) 

She told the pastor, I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws outspread, and landed right in front of her. 
 

Never underestimate the Power of God and His unique sense of humor


 

some more jokes/stories

    Kids -  Kids -

 

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."


A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, "It's Adam's suit!!"


The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went. Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?" 

Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers." 



My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo while I asked,"No, how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied. 

A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?" 


A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife." 

I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen." 


One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. 
Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!" 

And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets." 


One student's prayer: "Now I lay me down to rest,
And hope to pass tomorrow's test.
If I should die before I wake,
That's one less test I have to take."


A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT IF GOD DECIDED TO INSTALL AN ANSWERING MACHINE

 

Imagine praying and hearing this:

"Thank you for calling my Father's house."
"Please select one of the follow options:"
Press 1 for requests
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
For all other inquiries Press 4.

What if God used the familiar excuse,
"All the angels are helping other customers right now.
Please stay on the line and you call will be
answered in the order it was received."

Can you imagine getting these kind of responses as you call on God in prayer?

If you would like to speak with Gabriel, Press 1
To speak to Michael, Press 2.
For any other angel, Press 3
If you would like King David to sing a Psalm for you, Press 6.
For reservations at my Father's house,
simply press the letters J_O_H_N,
followed by the numbers 3-1-6
For answers to nagging questions about the dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah's ark is located, wait until you get here.

Our computers show that you have already called today.
Please hang up immediately.
This office is closed for the weekend.
Please call again Monday."

Thank God, you can call as often as you want.
You only need to ring once and God hears you.
Because of Jesus, you never get a busy signal.
God takes each call and knows each caller personally!

 

 

 

"Remember"

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in Monopoly.

Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old referred to anyone over 20.
The net on a tennis court was the perfect height to play volleyball and rules didn't matter.

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
It was magic when dad would "remove" his thumb.
It was unbelievable that dodge ball wasn't an Olympic event.
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot.
Nobody was prettier than Mom.

Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.

Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare."
Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute ads for action figures.

No shopping trip was complete unless a new toy was brought home.
"Oly-oly-oxen-free" made perfect sense.
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.

The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
War was a card game.
Water balloons were the ultimate weapon.
Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle.

Taking drugs meant orange-flavored chewable aspirin.
Ice cream was considered a basic food group (and STILL is as far as I am concerned!!)
Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!!

 

"Keep Smiling"

If at times you feel you want to cry,
And life seems such a trial;
Above the clouds there's a bright blue sky,
So make your tears a smile.

As you travel on life's way,
With its many ups and downs;
Remember its quite true to say,
One smile is worth a dozen frowns.

Among the world's expensive things,
A smile is very cheap;
And when you give a smile away,
You get one back to keep.

Happiness comes at times to all,
But sadness comes unbidden;
And sometimes a few tears must fall,
Among the laughter hidden.

So when friends have sadness on their face,
And troubles round them piled;
The world will seem a better place,
And all because you smiled!

some more stories!

''It is more blessed to give than to receive"

A young man, a student in one of our universities, was one day taking a walk with a professor, who was commonly called the students' friend, from his kindness to those who waited on his instructions.

As they went along, they saw lying in the path a pair of old shoes, which they supposed to belong to a poor man who was employed in a field close by, and who had nearly finished his day's work.

The student turned to the professor, saying: "Let us play the man a trick: we will hide his shoes, and conceal ourselves behind those bushes, and wait to see his perplexity when he cannot find them."

"My young friend," answered the professor, "we should never amuse ourselves at the expense of the poor. But you are rich, and may give yourself a much greater pleasure by means of the poor man. Put a coin into each shoe, and then we will hide ourselves and watch how the discovery affects him."

The student did so, and they both placed themselves behind the bushes close by.

The poor man soon finished his work, and came across the field to the path where he had left his coat and shoes. While putting on his coat he slipped his foot into one of his shoes; but feeling something hard, he stooped down to feel what it was, and found the coin.

Astonishment and wonder were seen upon his countenance. He gazed upon the coin, turned it round, and looked at it again and again. He then looked around him on all sides, but no person was to be seen. He now put the money into his pocket, and proceeded to put on the other shoe; but his surprise was doubled on finding the other coin.

His feelings overcame him; he fell upon his knees, looked up to heaven and uttered aloud a fervent thanksgiving, in which he spoke of his wife, sick and helpless, and his children without bread, whom the timely bounty, from some unknown hand, would save from perishing.

The student stood there deeply affected, and his eyes filled with tears. "Now," said the professor, "are you not much better pleased than if you had played your intended trick?"

The youth replied, "You have taught me a lesson which I will never forget. I feel now the truth of those words, which I never understood before: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive

 

 

                                                   "The  Innocence of a Child"

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

 

The winner was a four-year old child whose next-door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little girl went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When her mother asked her what she had said to the neighbor, the little girl said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

 

Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had a different color hair than the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted and a little girl said, "I know all about adoptions because I was adopted." "What does it mean to be adopted?" asked another child. "It means," said the girl, "that you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy."

 

A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down his ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?" The little boy stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down his throat. He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?" Again, the little boy was silent. Then the doctor put a stethoscope to his chest. As he listened to his heart beat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?" "Oh, no!" the little boy replied. "Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on my underpants."

As I was driving home from work one day, I stopped to watch a local Little League baseball game that was being played in a park near my home. As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was.
"We're behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a smile.
"Really," I said. "I have to say you don't look very discouraged." "Discouraged?" the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face. "Why should we be discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet."

Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott. Jamie was trying out for a part in a school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen. On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement. "Guess what Mom," he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me: "I've been chosen to clap and cheer."

 

An Eye Witness Account from New York City, on a cold day in December

 

A little boy about 10 years old was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold. A lady approached the boy and said,

"My little fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that window?" "I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes," was the boy's reply. The lady took him by the hand and went into the store and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.

She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with a towel. By this time the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes. She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said, "No doubt, my little fellow, you feel more comfortable now? As she turned to go, the astonished lad caught her by the hand, and looking up in her face, with tears in his eyes, answered the question with these words: "Are you God's Wife?"


 

                                   "He prayed that all your prayers be answered."

A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert like island.
 
The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agreed that they had no other recourse but to pray to God.
 
However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of  the island.   The first thing they prayed for was food.
 
The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of land remained barren.
 
After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife.   The next day, another ship was wrecked, and the only survivor was a woman who swam to his side of the land.   On the other side of the island, there was nothing.
 
Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, all of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing.
 
Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked at his side of the island.
 
The first man boarded the ship with his wife and decided to leave the second man on the island.
 
He considered the other man unworthy to receive God's blessings, since none of his prayers had been answered.
 
As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from Heaven booming, "Why are you leaving your companion on the island?"
 
"My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them," the first man answered.   "His prayers were all unanswered and so he does not deserve anything."
 
"You are mistaken!" the voice rebuked him. "He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings.

"Tell me," the first man asked the voice,  "What did he pray for that I should owe him anything?"
 
"He prayed that all your prayers be answered."
 
For all we know, our blessings are not the fruits of our prayers alone, but those of another praying for us. This is too good not to share. With obedience come blessings.  
 
 My prayer for you today is that all your prayers are answered

 

 

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive the week.
 
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 500 million people around the world.
 
If you attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, or torture of death, you are more blessed than almost three billion people in the world.
 
If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.
 
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish some place, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.
 
If your parents are still married and alive, you are very rare, even in the United States.
 
If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority of us can, but most do not.
 
If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read anything at all.
 
When you compare our day to day problems with bigger problems around the world  our troubles may not seem so large.
  
We are all truly blessed!

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