" But all the drugs in this world won't save her from herself."
       -Marilyn Manson, "Coma White"

both images: erowid.com

Alcohol: I started drinking when I was thirteen, mainly beer at first. I never liked the taste much, but I loved the feel. By fourteen, I tried my hand with liquor and discovered a whole new world of tastes. I started drinking at first on weekends at a party or with some friends. Then it increased. My parents, being the alcoholics they were, kept a constant supply of liquor in the house, all of which were at my disposal. I became an alcoholic myself, drinking constantly. My friends didn't help as they too enjoyed our regular weekend parties at Lexi's(damn, I miss that chick) house. I could drink too, easily finish off a bottle of vodka by myself. It changed me to say the least. I became more promiscuious, hooking up with randoms guys(everything but actual sex), and one of those loud annoying drunks. Or so I felt. Eventually, around fifteen, maybe sixteen, I mellowed out. Only drinking occasionally, when the mood striked, which was rare. Now, because of the meds. I'm taking, I can't drink. It makes me fucking sick...*sigh*

Cociane: Imagine a feeling of tinglingnumbness spreading throughout your body, that large void in your soul finally filled, and power surging through your viens, that is cocaine.I stayed clear of this stuff until I was sixteen. I tried it with my then boyfriend/fuck buddy/friend...whatever...Joel who, at the time was a coke head turned herion junkie(which is why we no longer speak). I knew it was bad stuff and the side effect of addiction even worse, but I have an implusive nature about me that worsen when I feel the extremes of anger, elation, sadness, and/or rejection. And I had had one hell of week,well month, consisting of arrests, runaway charges, a suicide attempt,and all around chaos. I tried it and it was great. Perfect. How Iwanted to feel every second, every minute of every day of my life. Coke is good, really good. If only I could afford it like I can pot.

Marjuana: Aw, yes, good ol' weed. I'm a stoner to the core. I smoked for the first time at fifteen, I think. Instantly, I bonded with the feel. I eventually got to the point where weed replaced alcohol entirely. I became involved with all kinds of people through smoking weed and ended up smoking with people I never fathomed touched drugs. I went to school stoned, got out of school and smoked all afternoon, and went home and smoked some more. I don't really know where I got all this weed from, but it was always in constant supply. This was, of course, before my parents knew of my secret lifestyle. I still smoke, with minor breaks in between. And could go on and on with fucked up stoner stories.

Tabocco: Okay, so it doesn't really alter your mind, but I am addicted. I've been smoking since I was fifteen, Camel Turkish Royal at first, but now Marlboro Reds. I love to smoke, so calming, so soothing. The best cigarette is the one you smoke right after you get out of school, right after sex, when you're stressed or pissed, when you haven't had one after two weeks in rehab, right after you smoke a bowl/joint/blunt, right after a fat ass line, when you're drunk...right fucking now *lights up and inhales* Ah, satisfaction.

Mushrooms: 'Shrooms were the first illict drug I ever tried at fourteen, in controdiction of the marjiuana gateway statistic. I ate half a bag with a, then, close chick friend, Kathrine. I tripped. Oh, yes, I tripped. I became engulf in this world that looked so much better than reality. My 'friends' and I went to my high school parking lot late that night, where we shaved Kathrine's head. She wanted us too. I never really got into shrooms though, I found a much better hallucinogen. Besides, they taste like asshole.

Crack: I had always a bit of curiousity about this stuff. Cheap cocaine, what?! It wasn't until a conversation with my coke/sometimes weed dealer, LP, that I got the chance. LP was shocked to find I had never tried it. So, one weekend, me and a few kids, including LP, smoked a whole lot of rock. It was...cool. I had someone pressed down on my chest,between my tits, as I inhaled and when I exhaled I felt like I was floating, lighthead. It an indescribable feel that was stoppped short due to a phone call to Justin that one of his friends was dead, car accident while driving drunk.Unlike with coke, I don't remember coming down. The period where I went from cracked out to not. This could be attributed to the recent death, though. I had a bruise on my chest for about a week.

Ketamine: Special K, despite it being a completely great nickname for me, is a very cool drug. I've only tried it once, snorting a few lines with Justin and Boyd in March '04. It did burn my nose after I snorted it and the drip was hardly enjoyable, but I was aware of this side effect before hand, so I was prepared. We smoked a whole lot of weed with it, so it might of hinder my perception of its effect. Basically, I couldn't move, not even if I wanted too. I didn't have an out of body experience or any other weird delusion while stuck in my K hole, but I did feel at peace, complete, which is always good for me. I'd definately like to do it again. But such a drug is a rare thing in Birmingham and knowing the shithole-ness of Niceville, probably impossible to find here. Oh well.

LSD/AMT: Acid fucking rocks. Once I dropped acid I forgot about mushrooms.  I dropped acid, the first time, at fifteen, and began doing it atleast once a weekend. The trip was totally different, more enlightening and full of visuals. It starts off slowly, you begin to feel happy, euphoric, and then soon, little parts of your world start to change. More vivid colors, unusual images, impossible events occur, etc. I've had really great trips(wondering through a parking lot with Mary watching the stores around me as they increaseingly resembeled severed heads, legs, and a monkey with a purple and red hat)  and some pretty scary ones (washing my hands one minute and watching, in horror, the next as my viens grew bulging from my arms and burst, blood splattering everywhere), still I find acid to generally be a lot of fucking fun...fucking while tripping is also a wicked experience. As for AMT, a friend of mine and Mary's study to be a pharmacist came across this stuff when it first broke onto the sence(I was sixteen), before the government knew what to do with it and the DEA knew how to schedule it. Apparently it was big at raves and called foxy methoxy or something.  Our friend hooked us up, complete with a unique dosage based on our past drug usage, namely acid, and our size. Best described, it felt like a mix of roll and acid. I tripped for 24hrs, but unlike acid it was smooth and I totally slept for a good 14 hours of it, still while receiving closed eyed visuals. To this day, Mary and I remain a selcet few of people we know who've tried it. After it became illegal in May '03, I've yet to come across it again. I would do it again though, totally.

Effexor-Anti-depressant

Seroquil-Anti-pyscotic

Xanax-Anti-anxitey

Loratab-Pain killer

Klonopin-Anti-convulsion

Soma-Muscle relaxer

Adderall-Stimulant(poor man's speed)

Wellbutrin-Anti-depressant

Hydrocodone(Vicodin)-Pain killer

Valium-Anti-anxitey

Percocet-Pain Killer

Ambien-Sleep aid

Trazodone-Anti-depressant

Tenex-High blood pressure(used for sleep aid)

Morphine-Pain killer