It seems like I've been battling my weight most of my adult life. I've never been pencil thin, but I was healthy and somewhat athletic back in high school. Sadly, even then at about 150 lbs., I was called "fat" and teased. I had what my mother called an "hourglass figure" - boobs and big hips. But I was happy enough, I guess. In college, I had fun. Too much fun. And I gained some weight. Left home and gained some more. Got married and gained a little more.
At one point I decided to join Jenny Craig. My husband was away at Basic Training, so I thought I'd surprise him by losing some weight. I weighed in at 216. Oh my! How did THAT happen? I worked really hard and lost 38 lbs in 9 weeks. Wow! My husband WAS surprised, and I felt awesome! But I never made it to goal, and I didn't learn how to keep it off. We ended up moving to Georgia, and there was no Jenny Craig there, but I thought I'd have no trouble doing the program on my own. Yeah, right!
We relocated to Washington state about 5 months later, and I was well on my way to gaining a lot of those precious pounds back. As a matter of fact, I gained 8 lbs. during our week-long cross-country drive in the moving truck! Can you say "3 squares a day the fast food way?" Yikes! Oh, and then I quit smoking, cold turkey. My support group was Ben & Jerry. So much for all that money I spent on JC. I started packing on the pounds.
Several years and 2 babies later, I was horrified to discover I had let myself get to a whopping 278 lbs! I had to do something about it, so I decided to go the Atkins way. I love meat and cheese, and didn't know how I could possibly live without them doing a traditional diet. My husband and I did Atkins together, and we both lost significant amounts of weight fairly quickly. I lost 70 lbs. in 7 months without any exercise. I was soooo close to Onederland, but I never made it. I fell off the Atkins wagon and gained all but 5 lbs. back almost as quickly as it had come off. Bummer.
Ever tried the Hot Dog diet? I have. How about the Cardiac Diet? Grapefruit Diet? Starvation Diet? Slim Fast? I'm a pro at losing weight, but I've never been good at keeping it off. I'm tired of being so self-conscious, missing out on interacting with my kids, feeling so crummy all the time. I had chronic indigestion, headaches and dizzy spells. My back hurt every time I did anything slightly physical. In a word, I was miserable. To make it worse, I was about to turn 40.
Here's where it gets good. I am taking the bull by the horns and DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT!! On Jan. 9, 2006 I joined Weight Watchers, and this is it. The beginning of my new life. I'm enjoying planning and preparing healthy meals for me and my family. I go to weekly meetings and use the WW eTools. I connect with people dealing with the same issues I have, as well as with people who have succeeded. In Feb. I joined the YMCA, and I'm there 4 to 5 days a week. This time it's different. It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle. I'm older and wiser, and I can make this work. I'm doing this for me!! But I'm also doing it for my kids. They deserve to have a mommy that can run and play with them, show them how to have a healthy lifestyle, and be HAPPY! My husband deserves to have a happier wife, too. He's stuck with me thru all the ups and downs. So some of this is for him, too.
Thanks for checking in. I hope to keep this site updated with progress photos. I am so inspired by the other WW member sites out there. Thank you all for sharing and motivating. You ROCK!
Aug 2006
Wow! Can you believe how far I've come in seven months?! Over 75 pounds lost!! I feel completely different, yet no different at all. Strange. Some days I feel awesome and think I look great, but other days I feel the same I've always felt - fat and miserable. I've never really had a good self-image. I wonder if that'll change.
It's been a rough few weeks OP for me. Summertime is full of socializing, camping and food. It's hard to stay focused. I've slipped frequently, but have gotten right back on track, which is good. I can't expect to never indulge myself, and if I can recover quickly from it I guess that's not so bad, right? But I'm having trouble seeing much past where I am now. Can I make it? Is my goal attainable? I'm having doubts. I feel comfortable - "normal" - where I am now, and I'm afraid I'm going to lose momentum. I've set some good mini goals and rewards, and I love buying new clothes in sizes I haven't been in since high school. But I have a hard time picturing myself at goal. I'm hoping once summer ends and the kids are in school, I can focus on me. Get back to the gym, get back into my routine and get back into the swing of WW. I want this SO BADLY!
November 2006
So I look back at my summertime stats and think, "Wow! What was my problem?!" I sure wish I were still losing like that now. I have the hardest time getting even a full pound off more than once every few weeks. It all adds up, but I sure didn't think I'd have this much trouble towards the end. I stay totally OP all week long, exercising 3 to 4 days a week, and then I see tiny little losses and get so frustrated. Sometimes that leads to pigging out that night, eating pizza, cookie dough, whatever. Sometimes I decide I won't exercise (since it doens't seem to matter). On the weekends I'm so depressed I hardly leave the house. THAT can't be good. So one week I decided to stay off my scale at home so I could focus on how great I FEEL. I thought it was going to be one of my best weeks ever, since I couldn't see the scale to "reward" myself with an extra bite or two here or there (or "punish" myself with fewer points). I sprang onto that scale at my WW meeting, all excited to see some big numbers, and I almost started to cry when I saw a puny .4 loss. My lowest loss EVER. WTF?!?!?! So much for that experiment! I'm back to weighing myself every morning, and it sets the tone for my entire day. It sucks. I'm grumpy and tired of playing this game.
On the bright side (when I can actually see it!), I do feel awesome. I'm so much stronger and fitter than I used to be. I can walk for days, and I've even started running some. I don't necessarily have more energy, but I think that's because I'm inherently lazy. I love being able to get into "regular" clothes, being able to fit into theatre seats, crossing my legs. I'm not as self-conscious as I used to be out in public.
So, I'm trudging on. I'm hoping I can hit 100 lbs. gone before Christmas. And then I hope I can maintain it over Christmas! I'd like to hit my goal of 115 lost before my birthday in March. I'm trying to picture how great it'll feel this next summer being at goal weight. A weight I haven't been since high school! I'm pretty excited. Now if I can just chase off those dark clouds of doom that seem to follow me around...
Wow! I did it! I made it one year on the program, and I can't believe how far I've come! 109 pounds gone! It's more than I dreamed of, and I'm thrilled to have come so far. I actually went shopping today for jeans (size 8!!) and workout clothes (medium!!), and I'm still shocked at where I am. I love to hear people telling me how different I look and how "skinny" I am, but I truly don't see it myself. I may always think of myself as the biggest one in the crowd. I've never had the best self image, and dealing with lots of flabby skin and being over 40 sure doesn't help! It does help to have great supportive friends (one of whom is losing weight on Jenny Craig!) and a handsome husband who thinks I'm hot.
And now, although I could never imagine it, I'm nearing my Goal Weight. I'm shooting for 155 personally, but my WW goal is 158. I may be "officially" entering the six week maintenance phase with WW soon. Very exciting, kinda scary!! I really have no clue what a good weight for me is, since I've battled my weight for most of my adult life. What will be a comfortable, maintainable weight for me? And what will it feel like to stop losing?! I'm a little scared of that. It's been so rewarding to see the losses adding up each week. Will it be as rewarding to maintain?!
I'm hoping to have reached my weight goals by my birthday in March. I'm picturing myself at goal weight for summer, and it feels great! I'm going to need a new swimsuit, that's for sure! I know I won't have the figure of a 20 year-old, but I'll be happy to be fit and active, and not to be so huge and miserable. I'm hoping that I can continue to tone and strengthen, and maybe by NEXT summer, I'll be a hot, "older" woman! (Shoot me now!)
I can't say enough about how great this program is. My meetings are AWESOME! I have a FANTASTIC leader (Heather) and get lots of feedback and support from the regular members. I also love the e-Tools. I'm a fanatic about logging in my points after every meal. And the 100+ Pounds to Lose board is such a great inspiration. I don't always post, but I read a few threads everyday. Just knowing there are people out there just like me, doing what I'm doing, feeling how I'm feeling is HUGE.
Thank you!